Around the World in 24 Hours

I would give the wings to the person who I think deserves them the most: my mom. She does everything for me and this could be a way I could repay her.  She would love to have a day of complete freedom to do whatever she wanted. I would assume that her day would start off with a flight to Hawaii, where she would stay for a few hours at the beach.  Then she would head over to Europe for some sight seeing and then probably finish the day off flying over Disneyland! My mom loves to travel, so these wings would be a dream come true for her.  I wouldn't mind giving them to her because I know she deserves them. Also, I would hope she would let me tag along with her on the adventure!

Reunited

            If I was to give wings to one person, I would give them to my friend Erica. We have been best friends since we were three and are practically brother and sister because of how close we are. We were inseparable... like two peas in a pod. We were always doing random shenanigans together and causing mischief wherever we went. But unfortunately when we were about 12 years old, her parents got divorced and she moved to Idaho to live with some of her relatives (which is quite the distance from my home state of Texas). We still keep in frequent contact to this day, but because she moved away, I haven’t seen her in eight years and friendship has dwindled a little over time.... So the reason why I would give her wings for a day is so she could fly out and visit me. And also so we could finally be reunited as best friends and strengthen our friendship to the way it used to be before we were separated eight years ago.

Two Choices

Think about how depressing it would be each day to see and hear birds flying above you, knowing that you can never be up there? For a bird, flightlessness is depression. And if you've ever seen an ostrich, you can tell it's depressed. All they do is run around and stick their heads in the ground when scared. we all know that a flying ostrich would be a happy one.

Another choice, and my preferred choice, is to give the wings to the largest lizard on the planet, the Komodo Dragon. Because then there would actually exist a dragon in the world! I would ride him and train him how to protect viking villages. I would ride around to epic music and I might even get a cute blonde girlfriend. It would be the best this ever. 

So there you have it, to an ostrich or a lizard.

Wings

If I cannot give myself wings, I must then become exponentially more thoughtful regarding who is deserving of this gift. It cannot be given for some aspect of entertainment or excitement. It must be used wisely and it must be well deserved. The gift of flight must yield benefits as far reaching and magnificent as the gift itself.

That is why, after hours of deliberation and self-struggle, I have decided to award the gift of flight to a humble and deserving recipient: Riley Nelson. Riley Nelson, number 13, just wrapped up his college career by spoiling a season watched by tens of thousands of BYU Football fans. He successfully completed a season with more interceptions than touchdowns. By successful I mean: successful in squeezing every ounce of hope out of the team. He had a perfect record for underthrowing open receivers, and had an impressive 100% lose-crucial-games-against-potentially-#1-ranked-teams record!

As if it isn't obvious, Riley deserves the wings. He needs a pick me up, quite literally! Hopefully with this newly found power, he will remove himself physically from the game of football and enjoy the remainder of his life flying higher and further than his passes ever could. I, of course, would reserve some gratitude from the general public for making him physically unable to play the sport of football again. 

A Real Superhero

If I was able to give the gift of having wings to anyone I wanted, I would probably give them to my younger brother. The reason I would give them to my younger brother is because the wings would be the "cherry on top" of his already superhero like features. Now, I must describe my little brother. He is an incredible gymnast who in the near future, could potentially be in the olympics. If I had to describe his physical features and physique, I would relate them to that of a Greek God. His legs are monstrously defined and his abs look like they were chiseled out of marble by an Italian sculptor. I truly am not exaggerating when I say that this guy is built like a machine. His body would make superman tremble with fear. If my "little" brother had wings, he would probably be an even better gymnast than he already is. He would be perceived as a real-life superhero. Wings on just anyone wouldn't make sense. However, if you saw wings on a guy with a body of this magnitude, there would be no hesitation in thinking that he is a real superhero.

My trash

            I honestly see no value in being able to fly for a day. But a wise man once said, “One man’s trash is another man’s treasure.”

 If I could give someone the ability to fly, I would make it known that I had such a gift and seek to sell it.    The wings don’t mean anything to me, but I could give them to someone who could in turn give me something that does me something to me.   A quick post to the internet would bring me a plethora of offers within the hour.   Maybe a movie company would buy it to facilitate the perfect shot or a billionaire would buy it for his daughters 7^th birthday.  Let me give someone their treasure, while they hand me mine.

          Kudos to all you people with good hearts giving the wings to kids with cancer.  I haven’t reached your level of spirituality yet. I’ll just have live without my warm fuzzy for the day.

If PIgs could Fly.....

So if I had the magical responsibility of bestowing a pair of wings I think I would give them to my younger brother. Not that he is a pig or anything but he does eat a lot and is 6'5". Because of this crazy height he has been able to dunk a basketball for quite some time now but he isn't very fast. These wings would give him the high flying capabilities to do amazing dunks every which way. There intramural team could then dominate with ease and win the championship. Also this past year he has been training very hard for track and field in the spring. He desperately wants to make it to the State meet in the high jump and he only missed qualifying last year by 2 inches as a junior. So now that he is a senior I want to give him these wings so that not only can he make it to State but he will be able to take 1st and bring home a medal. He deserves it. He would also make sure to exercise righteous dominion over how he used the wings. My brother Clint is someone who I know really well and trust and he would be an excellent recipient of the wings.

Plus I kind of want to keep this AMAZING ability in the family so you know, if I can't have it then my brother might as well.

This Could be Disastrous

If I were able to give anybody wings for a day, I have a few ideas about what I would do.

1.       I would wait until somebody I don’t know started drinking a Red Bull, then bestow upon him or her a lovely pair of feathery wings. I’d definitely make sure I was filming to catch their shocked expression.  I hope I don’t need to explain my choice.

2.       I might give the wings to my friend Weston, solely because Weston is the strongest person I know. If I can’t give the wings to myself, I would give them to someone strong enough to carry me around all day. This choice is totally self-centered, and I would enjoy myself very much.

3.       If all else fails, I would give the wings to my friend Des. She lives out in the middle of nowhere, so the complications of having wings would be much fewer. Power lines and tall buildings wouldn’t be an issue. The people probably wouldn’t report her to the authorities, and she would have lots of open air to fly about in without scaring lots of people. 

Of course, there could still be many difficulties associated with wings that I haven't thought of. All things considered, the best choice would be for me to receive the wings and deal with the consequences, be they good or bad. 

If I could give wings to someone for a day I would definitely choose to give them to LeBron James. Lebron is a really good basketball player...but I like to imagine how great he (and the Heat) would be if he could fly. I would choose a day when the Heat are playing the Celtics to make sure that they won. I think that this might be a selfish way to spend my wings because it is purely for my own entertainment (and so that the Celtics don't win), but I think that the Heat would make a lot of people happy!

To Someone Who'd Appreciate Them

If I couldn’t give myself wings for a day, then I would give them to someone that deserves them and would appreciate them more than I would. Most of us have the opportunity to walk and use our legs to get around, but there are others that have either lost their legs or were born without them. I think I’d give these wings to someone who fought bravely for our country but was wounded and now can’t get around like before; someone who earned them and would appreciate them.

We could go skydiving together while I use a parachute, or take an air trip over a famous place or city. Or I would just let him do whatever he wants with them and live up that day. I think that’s what I would do with those wings, give them to someone who deserves them. They’d probably use them more wisely than some of us as well.

Sidekick for a day

If I'm going to give wings to someone, I don't want to give them to someone who will use them for something predictable or boring. I would want to give them to someone who would use them in a fun, creative way, and the most creative person I know is my best friend. Not only do I think he would enjoy the wings a lot, but I know he would use them for something exciting and out of the ordinary. He would probably use them to go on some sort of adventure, and he would probably let me tag along too. I know I would want to do something exciting and memorable if I could give myself wings, but since I can't, I might as well give them to someone who will let me be their sidekick.

I'm not exactly sure what kind of adventure he and I would go on, and that's exactly what makes him the perfect recipient of the wings. He's fun and creative, and our adventure would be wild and unpredictable. I would choose to give my best friend the wings because whatever he would choose to do with them, I'm sure it would be a memorable experience.

Someone in Need

             I would give wings to whoever is having the hardest day, and hopefully them flying around for 24 hours would cheer them up.  I would want to give them to myself, but since that is off-limits, I suppose something altruistic is in order.  I know that if I was having a hard day I would just fly to some tropical environment, and it would clear my mind.  I would find someone like that and give them wings for the day.  If  I was giving wings for a longer period of time I would give them to someone who could use them for something more than just sheer joy, but they are limited to 24 hours.

Prompt 8: Wings

Time for a bit of whimsy.

If you could give wings to one person for one day, who would it be and why (don't give them to yourself)? What would he or she do with the wings?

Risk it for the Biscuit

        Based on the note from Admirer 1, it’s easy to determine that they are a sweet person. In their writing, they focus on personality as the means of attraction, instead of the typical physical attractiveness that you would expect. While their intentions are good (I hope), their love letter comes across as extremely creepy. You can’t write “I've waited so many nights alone for you…” and actually expect the person to react positively. My reaction to this would be to call the police and lock my doors and windows.

        As for Admirer 2, the way they start by saying, “It's not quite fair for someone as good looking as you to be here” show that they focus on your physical appearance more than your personality. While this letter is still creepy, it makes the person seem shallow and shows that the true reason they wrote you is because of your physical attractiveness.

        Admirer 3 is by far the least creepy out of the admirers.  They are kind and caring based on their non-forceful word choice. They are also a very sweet and kind person because no matter how it ends, they say they will always be there for you.  And most likely, they have thought about this letter for a long time because they were willing to risk their friendship to progress in a relationship with you. Their choice of a rose instead of the cliche chocolate and stuffed bear shows a lot more class than the others and portraits them as very mature.

        If I was to choose one of them, I would have to go with Admirer 3 because they have the purest intentions and are risking the most by writing this letter.  Another reason why I would choose this person is because they appeal not only to my emotions, but also to my logic with the statement “I'll be there for you no matter what….” It shows that even if the relationship didn't work out, it would be a good reason to completely end the friendship. It just means that both of you weren't meant to be anything more than just friends.

Class Gets the Girl

As I read the prompt, I watched the admirers start out bad-ish and slowly get better.  The chocolates?  Who doesn't love chocolate?  But his declaration is also very vague.  There's not much of a hint of who this guy is.  It could be that creeper that works at the bookstore... (That was just an example, I don't know any creepers that work at the bookstore).  "I've waited so many nights for you to come around..."  Awkward.  Not to mention, girls like the guys that step up and just let them know how they feel.  Some games are fun to play, but if we don't know you, we don't know you're dropping hints...

The second admirer is only a step up with his words, but a teddy bear?  The only time I want a teddy bear is if it is won for me at a carnival or something.  Otherwise, it's just cheesy (and not in a good way).  I'm not five and I didn't just get my tonsils out.  Although, I did like the humor that this one displayed in his note.  "...since thousands of teddy bears would encumber your doorstep and annoy your roommates..."  I appreciate humor, even if it is super cheesy.

The third is by far my favorite.  A rose?  Classic and Classy.  Just one is perfect to suggest that something could be there, but it is not too overbearing as to suggest commitment.  And his note implies that he is happy to be more than friends, but still happy to be just friends as well.  He said he is a best friend.  "And NOBODY knows you like I do."  Who doesn't love the love story where the best friends realize they are in love?  It is definitely best to be good friends with somebody; you know that person.  You know their faults and their strengths, their falls and their strides.  You already know what to love about them.  It makes it that much easier.  And romantic.  

Open to Possibilities

We’ve all heard stories of one ‘best friend’ that has more feeling than just friendship. I have never seen this situation be successful.  If it were, I could not think of a better way to address this predicament than the way Admirer #3 did it.   A classy love note that honestly shares what you’re open to, without sounding needy is the way to go! 

Admirer #3 is personable. He doesn’t damage his credibility like the other admirers do. Their vague, colloquial wording weakens any point they bring up. The other two sound like they know you from a distance which implies they like the thought of you, rather than the real you. Although actions do say a lot about a person, you can’t know what a person is like until you’ve spent time with them, laughed with them, even hurt with them.  It is easy to progress into a relationship if you have a history that let’s you know it can work.

And, may I compliment the object.  Teddy Bear?  Yikes. The chocolates are a step up, but a single rose is simple, classy, and not overbearing.  It’s an offer:  an offer that will most likely be taken up.

XOXO

 (Admirer #3: A red rose)

I would gladly accept this note.  It seems genuine and the least creepy of the three notes.  I feel like I would be more willing to meet this boy because he obviously is a really close friend.  This boy is really good at establishing ethos, or credibility, because he states he is one of my best friends.  I like how he mentions that no matter what happens, either way he will be there for me.  That shows that he really cares about my feelings and cares too much about our relationship to make things awkward.  He makes an emotional appeal when he says, “I feel it is my responsibility to remind you this Valentine’s Day of how special you are.” What girl wouldn’t love to hear that? By establishing his credibility, and showing that he really cares about me, I feel like I can trust him. 

Plus, I LOVE roses…

To Living Legends it is!

The use of active and complement words like kind, intelligent and fun is a great choice to make the reader feel good. This logical appeal to her argument show the reader that this is not inspired by pure physical attraction, rather that she sees something different in me. It also helps the reader see that this particular suitor has put thought into this date and into me as a prospective boyfriend.My hat is off to Admirer #2. I liked also the statement that thousands of teddy bear would not fit on my doorstep and that it might anger my roommates. It shows that the writer is thoughtful.

I definitely would call my admirer because I would love to see Living Legends free, and she just confessed her attraction to me which is something that you never hear from a woman without there being some kind of relationship already established. Her assertiveness is very attractive and helps me to know her intentions, there's no gray area. It would make dating a lot more simple if people were more upfront about it like this.

Admirer #2, it's you and me at Living Legends tonight. I'll be dressed in a gray suit with a red tie. Keep an eye out for me.

Totally Adorable

Out of all three of the notes I think admirer #3 creeps me out the least. Even though all of them are pretty sweet and seem well meaning, the voice and sincerity of the third one strikes me most. The most compelling appeal this note has with me is its ethos. The author of the note describes herself as a friend and someone I know. This way I can relate with her and know that I at least have met her before and have common ground. This way she establishes her credibility with me and I don't feel so creeped out like the other two notes do. She also doesn't sound to pushy or overbearing in her note which makes her seem a little more level headed and not so "love struck" that she would be doing this blindly and without thinking. This voice she has makes her seem like a shy or timid person since she has waited along time it seems to get up the courage to say anything. This kind of person seems nice and caring to me and makes me feel comfortable in meeting them. Lastly the gift that was given, the red rose. The red rose is a classic yet simplistic gift that says a lot about the admirer. She is not showy with chocolates or gifts of monetary value but cares truly about the person. This not seems very sincere and genuine and not flashy or overbearing and I think I would most definitely take my chances with her. It's totally adorable.

Dear Admirer

 While i am deeply flattered by the gift of chocolates and the wonderful note that you have written to me. I'm afraid that i will be unable to accept your offer to meet at the bench at midnight. From your note i have deduced that you and I have been acquainted for quite some time and you have been admiring me for what sounds like the length of our friendship. You are also familiar with the complex where i live which is another concern for me were this relationship to go sour. I couldn't help but notice the pathos appeal that you made in your note using a metaphor. By comparing me to the gift of chocolates in saying that i am much sweeter than the candy you were able to appeal to my emotional side. This was at first a wonderful gesture, but eventually the emotional aspect of your claim wore off leaving you without a logical leg to stand on. Your kindness and flattery are not enough to overcome the logical gaps in your argument, mainly that if we have known each other for so long there is probably a good reason that we are not currently involved in a relationship. I am sorry to decline your request and i hope that fate will bring your perfect match wandering by the bench at midnight to comfort you in your disappointment.

Admirer No. 1

I believe that admirer number one uses rhetorical appeals most effectively in their note that declares their love. First, admirer number one uses a lot of hyperboles, or in other words, extreme overstatements, in order to successfully convey their "extreme" devotion and desire for the intended recipient of the note with using as few words as possible. There is simplicity to the note which enhances the exaggeration as well as creates a sense that the author of the note is simple and "down to earth." Also, there is repetition within the love note which in addition to the extreme exaggeration, adds to not only a literary appeal, but also an appeal to pathos. The repetition of "I can't..." cements and reinforces the authors true love, admiration, and longing for the intended recipient. Admirer number one is also very direct and delivers their message without any loose ends or unknowns. Lastly, I liked the imagery that was depicted through the use of X's and O's. Although I believe that the first admirer was the most successful in terms of their rhetoric, there is one aspect I did not care for. That error occurs when the admirer states that the recipient of the note is "the most beautiful creation at BYU." An error occurs because they are limiting the person's superb attractiveness and characteristics to only BYU. They should have extended that claim to the entire world in order to be more effective.

Admirer #2

(In Response to Admirer #2)

I think that this approach mainly comes from the Pathos appeal. The author of the letter seems like she is overly in love, and has had a crush on me (the reader) for quite a while. She said, “To someone I have admired for a long time”. So she obviously has known me for a while, but the reader might not seem as interested in her. She tries to tell me how great I am and to make me feel good about myself. This would have an emotional tug to make me want to be her Valentine. She puts a list of reasons why I am the best and dramatizes about how much she thinks about me on a daily basis. It almost seems like she is begging me to go with her, especially when she says that she thinks about me thousands of times each day.

Her voice is loud, and a little overbearing. She is a little wordy, too, when she says “However, since thousands of teddy bears would encumber your doorstep and annoy your roommates, I hope you’ll accept this offering as a representative offering of my deepest devotion to you.” She could have summarized it a ton.

She also gives some appeal to the Ethos through sharing personal information. She told me that she’s admired me for a long time, and also gave out her number. She tried to seem sincere when she spoke during the beginning and at the end, but exaggerated in the middle of the text.

I think I would accept their offer, especially if I knew the person already. She seemed pretty sincere overall.

To Admirer 1 

Admirer 1 really appeals to the emotions of the reader using pathos. I think that admirer 1 figures that their poem is really quite poetic and romantic. Also by making their note anonymous it adds to the mystery and romance of their argument. However, their word choice of "waiting so many nights" makes them seem a little desperate.

By reading this note, I am can assume that this admirer is very passionate and caring. They try hard, but don't think their arguments through too logically. They were also very illogical in inviting someone to meet them in the middle of the night somewhere because they might end up a little creepy. 

I would not accept this offer because A) I don't want to go somewhere at midnight to meet someone just to realize that is is someone I am not interested in and B) if someone likes me, I am not a fan of the mystery/head games..they need to just come out and say it. 

Sorry, Admirer 1, I don't want to break your heart...but you might be spending this Valentines Day alone.  

Psychological Analysis of a Love Note

Analysis of Admirer 1:

I am unimpressed with this note. Every rhetorical argument is based on pathos and flattery combined with vague compliments. The whole thing doesn’t feel genuine. The rare bits of logic are faulty. First he/she (I cannot be sure, which makes me extremely nervous. I will refer to the author as a she for the sake of comfort) states “I can’t stop thinking about you and I can’t keep it in anymore,” and “I want the whole world to know.” If this desire to reveal to the world her infatuation for me was genuine, why would she tell me in a secret note? On top of that, why would she not even tell me her identity? In addition to all of this, if I don’t know who is speaking or that she likes me, why would she be waiting alone for me “so many nights”?? I am enormously creeped out by this. Assuming this is genuine, I am worried for this person’s sanity.  

The message is generic, making me think it was printed out dozens of times, taped to a cheap box of chocolates and distributed randomly on the doorsteps of people hopefully of the same gender. I doubt my “secret lover” knows me at all.  I can only assume the author of the note is waiting in an unmarked van with a chloroform soaked handkerchief. In the hypothetical situation where I receive this gift, I would promptly call University Police and warn them about suspicious individuals lurking in front of the complex around midnight.

In summary, I will not be making an appearance at your romantic meeting. My apologies.

The second admirer seemed nice though. I’d probably accept her offer. 

Admirer #3

From what is written, I can tell that the writer of the note is my best friend. They care about me primarily as a friend rather than a love interest and are hoping to use that foundation of friendship to build a relationship. I can tell they are thoughtful and they pay attention to what I like because they know where my favorite bowling alley is. I can tell they're polite because they don't want to put too much pressure on me.

This note mainly center around Ethos because the writer is trying to establish their credibility with me by stating they are my best friend. By using that position of trust, the author has added credibility to their argument. By simply stating that they are my best friend, I already know I trust them and love being around them, even though I don't know who it is. They reinforce this by stating that they'll always be here for me. This increases the feeling of security. They also state that nobody knows me better, by which they imply that they will be able to take good care of me.

The next most abundant form of appeal is Pathos. After the author establishes their credibility as my best friend, they proceed to try to flatter me by telling me that I am special. This is a direct, obvious use of emotion to persuade me to their point of view. They also mention my favorite bowling alley, which will have positive connotations for me.

All of these things together show that the admirer is someone who cares about me and my personal space and the most important thing for them is that I trust them. This note had a lot of good appeals and definitely set the author up as someone I can trust.

Valentines Response

(I choose Admirer/Candidate 3)

First of all, mad props to this girl for being one of the rare cases of a girl breaching the friend zone.  Second of all, this girl is the obvious choice for me because she knows you as a person more than any of the other candidates.  You can tell that this candidate is aggressive and active in her approach, which means she cares about you.  This candidate is also very brave, because going from friends to more than friends can be a scary step for some people.  This candidate also doesn't put any pressure on the reader (me :D).  The quote, “I’ll be there for you no matter what, but if you want to try a bit of romance this V-Day…” is a perfect example of allowing me some space while still giving an offer.  I also appreciate the fact that this candidate knows me so well that they are going to the bowling alley that I enjoy the most.

For me, this carries a balanced attack of ethos, logos, and pathos.  The candidate clearly has experience with me over all of the other ones; she appeals to my emotions by telling me how special I am; and logically I think that best friend relationships last the longest, so this has all three types of appeals in it to me.  As for rhetorical devices, I couldn't point out any specific ones, but the general tone is one of respect and admiration, instead of creepy/cheesiness like the first two candidates.

My Valentine Response

In Response to Admirer 3:
(A single red rose)

This approach is based almost entirely on an appeal of ethos. Rather than describing me or what makes me impressive, the "secret admirer" spends the the entire time describing herself. She points out that "NOBODY" knows me like she does. She asserts that she will always be there for me, no matter what. By claiming that she is already my best friend and that she wants something more, she sets up a "base" of trust upon which I am able to build my response.

I find this rhetorical appeal very interesting. One might think that an appeal of ethos implies the writer's egotism and arrogance. I disagree in this case. The points that she brings up are written to establish trust rather than to boast or brag. In contrast to the other responses, this letter does not sound obsessive or over the top. She is simply letting me know that she knows and cares about me as a friend and that she wants things to go further.

Of the three, this is the letter I would be most likely to respond to. The casual tone gives the feeling that even if things don't work out romantically, we will still continue to be good friends. Her writing as inviting yet reassuring and removes the feeling of awkwardness that can so easily accompany such a note. The strong appeal of ethos allows me to trust the writer and invest in what she is saying.

P.S. As far as the rose goes, I'm a boy. Flowers aren't my thing.

Prompt 6: A Declaration

3 infatuated secret admirers leave gifts for you on Valentine's Day. Based on their gifts and notes - what can you deduce about their personalities?
Pick one and respond to the following questions:
What rhetorical appeals are they making? What does that say about them? Would you accept one of the offers? Why?


Admirer 1: A box of chocolates

To the the most beautiful creation at BYU, 

These chocolates don't compare to a fraction of your sweetness! 

I can't stop thinking about you and I can't keep it in anymore!

I've waited so many nights alone for you to come around. 

Now I have to tell you the truth, you're the only one I think about 

and I want the whole world to know!! 

If you feel the same, meet me at midnight by the bench in front to the complex. ;) 

XOXOX

Anonymous

Admirer 2: A teddy bear holding a heart

To someone I have admired for a long time, 

It's not quite fair for someone as good looking as you to be here. 

How can anyone think about studying when they could be thinking about you? 

You're the most kind, intelligent, attractive, talented, and fun person I've ever met. 

If I had a teddy bear like this for every time I think about you during the day, I would have THOUSANDS. However, since thousands of teddy bears would encumber your doorstep and annoy your roommates, I hope you'll accept this offering as a representative offering of my deepest devotion to you. Will you be my Valentine? If so, I have tickets to Living Legends tonight. Call me. 801-828-8309

Sincerely, 

Someone close by

Admirer 3: A single red rose

Hey Mr./Ms. Wonderful,

As your best friend, I feel that it is my responsibility

 to remind you this Valentine's day of how special you are. 

And NOBODY knows you like I do. 

I've been thinking lately that we might be ready to be more than friends? 

I'll be there for you no matter what, but if you want to try a bit of romance this V-day,

 I'll be waiting for you at 7:00p at the bowling alley (your favorite one). :)  

See you soon, I hope,

(Guess who)

the Date-My-Roommate-3000

Ladies, do you ever find yourself sitting alone in your apartment on a Saturday night, slowly getting closer to tears of sadness with each passing weekend? Have you ever found yourself in need of MASCULINE companionship? Well if you answered yes to either one of these questions, I have the perfect solution to your problems! The new model of Date-My-Roommate-3000 is now available to all single women attending Brigham Young University. With the newest of Puma and Vans clothing, the Date-My-Roommate-3000 is bound to impress you with his sleek, modern style. In addition to this, he comes loaded with a vast knowledge of cars, computers, and other MANLY things to help you with any of your MASCULINE chores around the house (Includes, but is not limited to: mechanics, carpentry, metal working, and leather working). Along with these things, he also comes with a sweet, sensitive side filled with love and compassion, perfect for any woman looking to feel like royalty and not cry herself to sleep on a Saturday night…. This MANLY being will blow your mind with his endless charm and Chivalry. Like a MAN. So ladies, if you want to feel like a Princess this weekend, pick up your new Date-My-Roommate-3000 at Wyview Student Housing today, or send him and message via Morse code, smoke signal, carrier pigeon, fax, or handwritten letter.

A Handsome Hunk

We are talking about the man of your dreams here. An absolute dream boat for any of you ladies out there who are still single. So come meet my friend Alejandro from the coast of California who has decided that California girls aren't for him. He has come here to BYU to meet his special someone and that special someone is you. Yes I'm talking about you. He will make you feel like a million bucks with his dark wavy hair and dark complexion. He is also strikingly tall and deep brown eyes that can look down into your very soul. Being outdoors and in the sun make up most of his hobbies. So if you're an outdoorsy type of girl then this is the guy for you. Hiking, mountain biking, and slack lining are a few but surfing is his favorite past time and he will take you out on the waves of love anytime. Not to mention his ROTFLOL sense of humor. He knows more pick up lines than anyone else I know so why not let him try one out on you? You never know, you could be smitten on the first joke. So give this handsome hunk a shot and give him a call.
Alejandro
123-456-HUNK

Superfluous:(adj) more than is sufficient

“A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous.”

Yes ladies, he came up with that one himself.  Thad is truly a master of the art of conversation. Time passes easily with him.  He understands that there is a time and place words though.  He can easily read when ‘words become superfluous.’

Thad would be ready to settle down, but is not the type to rush timing. He is optimistic and caring towards everyone.  He and his younger sister recently spent a three weeks in Kenya volunteering their time with the people there.  He loves the outdoors and the all activities it allows.  His plans are to graduate in another year and a half and continue to grad school in Boston, if that is what's right.

Because of the recent flood of young women to missions, he feels like the dating pool has been depleted.  He knows there are fabulous girls still attending BYU but has had trouble finding them.  I’m here to help him, but really, to help you too.  

Contact me at emailme@gmail.com if you’re interested!

The Modern Man

Lets be honest with ourselves. Why do we come to BYU? The answer... to find your dream eternal companion! Well my still single ladies, your long hunt has now come to a close for i have found your match made in heaven, your modern man. His name is Paul, as unassuming a name as is his character. His figure, an impressive five foot ten with broad shoulders and a barrel chest to perfectly fill it out. If your ideal date is a couple of episodes of 30 Rock watched on Netflix, followed by a couple rounds of Modern Warfare on the PS3 then look no further. When Paul was recently asked as to why he doesn't go on more dates, his answer was "because i am waiting for girls to ask me out instead of the other way around." Do you realize what this answer means? It means that Paul is a forward thinking modern man who is so selfless that he doesn't want the female gender to miss out on the thrill of asking someone out on a date. It means that he is a firm believer in equality among the genders to the point of doing away with the cultures and practices of yesteryear. Yes my female friends Paul is the one you have all been waiting for. I would ask you to send me your number if you were interested, but lets be real here, you are going to have to contact him.

Hipster Mania!

Do you like suede shoes? Are you not sick of hearing about "Imagine Dragons?" Do you just love kissing a man with a thick, shiny mustache? Are your favorite types of men the ones who have to put Crisco on their legs to make their jeans fit? Then I've got the perfect Hipster for you ladies!

Ori Nal is one of my great friends, and he is all about sticking it to the man! He likes going to Indy Art Festivals, wearing his button-up shirts with the top button fastened, and mimicking other men with ugly, comb-over like haircuts. He is a nonconformist. So much is he a nonconformist, that he even nonconforms with others, (as if they weren't conforming to one another). 

Apart from Ori's ever so tight style and slick upper-lip hairs, he also enjoys listening to music, playing guitar, being in nature and doing things on his Apple Notebook in coffee shops. He is a sensitive guy who has a great, satirical style of humor and enjoys beaches, but not walking on them. Water ruins suede shoes...

So If you're one of those girls that likes a tall, skinny man made to look skinnier and taller by his manner of dress, Ori Nal is the man for you! Call here to (812) 447-7837, that's (812) HIP-STER

P.S. Ori J. Nal was hipster before the hipsters, even the original hipster...