Wings

If I cannot give myself wings, I must then become exponentially more thoughtful regarding who is deserving of this gift. It cannot be given for some aspect of entertainment or excitement. It must be used wisely and it must be well deserved. The gift of flight must yield benefits as far reaching and magnificent as the gift itself.

That is why, after hours of deliberation and self-struggle, I have decided to award the gift of flight to a humble and deserving recipient: Riley Nelson. Riley Nelson, number 13, just wrapped up his college career by spoiling a season watched by tens of thousands of BYU Football fans. He successfully completed a season with more interceptions than touchdowns. By successful I mean: successful in squeezing every ounce of hope out of the team. He had a perfect record for underthrowing open receivers, and had an impressive 100% lose-crucial-games-against-potentially-#1-ranked-teams record!

As if it isn't obvious, Riley deserves the wings. He needs a pick me up, quite literally! Hopefully with this newly found power, he will remove himself physically from the game of football and enjoy the remainder of his life flying higher and further than his passes ever could. I, of course, would reserve some gratitude from the general public for making him physically unable to play the sport of football again.